The happy, laughing, positive, loud, intelligent girl who goes out drinking, partying, having fun without limit, making the most of what I have with my uni friends..

The strong, smiling, passionate, independent Muslim girl who prays, has kosher fun, deep thoughtful coversations, mad childlike laughs, spending time with the friends I grew up with...

The dependable though lazy, happy and hyper, crazy sister who tries her best to never let the smile falter on any loved one's eyes and keeping them all laughing heartily...

The bright eyed young woman, smart, content and forever smiling at anyone in public, being as graceful and polite as you can to strangers...

Or the trapped, lonely, hollow shell of a girl who attempted suicide quietly and alone three times, the bulimic with healing scars on legs and arms to match, the addict searching for the perfect escape to become dependent on. Desperate for that chastity that was stolen from me so young, repeatedly. Searching for the lost childhood that is no more, seeking closure thrice over by three different men who took what they should never have even thought of. Needing helplessly for what can never be returned.

When all the masks and faces are peeled off, I need to know just who I really am.

Show me please